Snowed In.

So I'm snowed in. Today has cost me in more ways than one. Which sucks....really sucks.

I needed to just sleep last night. Christmas was exhausting this year...absolutely exhausting. I felt like I had been running around for weeks on end without sleep. It doesn't help that I got into it last night with J. Ugh.

I got a message this morning saying that my company was closed today. No work = no money. Then I go outside to see the blizzard that had hit us and to my dismay I see a ticket on my car. $100 fine for parking on the street during a snow storm. Livid doesn't even begin to describe how I felt about that. Last year I was the only dumbass to move my car and no one else got a ticket. Living in a place where there is only off street parking sucks for this exact reason - there is no where to put your car when it snows. Apparently, I could have parked it at the park...how the hell was I supposed to know that?

Yes, so today has cost me in more than one way. *sigh* Such is life.

I feel like I have alot to say; there's so much on my mind. I tossed and turned last night, and wasn't able to sleep. I feel strung out - unable to think about one specific thing for too long because my mind keeps skipping around. From work, to when I'm going back to school, to family, to getting out of Connecticut, back to school. It's insane.

I remember being in my Creative Nonfiction Writing class back in CCSU. I was writing a story about meeting my biological mother for the first time. I remember a line:

"I was no longer a cold December river..."

I think it was wishful thinking. I thought by seeing her I wouldn't feel so empty anymore, that I wouldn't be such a cold person and that I could move on and not be so filled with anger all the time. A year after meeting her I think I'm colder than I've ever been. I know for a fact that I'm angrier than I've ever been and the amount of emptiness I feel can't be measured.

Nothing has been resolved. I thought it would have been by now. And nothing has changed. If anything, I can't even stomach the thought of her. This topic is putting me in a bad place...bleh.

Til next time.